Tagged

I've been tagged by Nity at I Believe In Miracles.

Rules: Answer each question with one word and tag four others to play.

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Your significant other? Hilarious
3. Your hair? Highlighted
4. Your mother? Petite
5. Your father? Comic
6. Your favorite thing? Husband
7. Your dream last night? Flying
8. Your favorite drink? Water
9. Your dream/goal? Contentment
10. The room you're in? Cubicle
11. Your hobby? Decorating
12. Your fear? Loss
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Mommy
14. What you're not? Angry
15. Muffins? Blueberry
16. One of your wish list items? Patience
17. Where you grew up? Midwest
18. The last thing you did? Ate
19. What are you wearing? Smile
20. Favorite Gadget? iPod
21. Your pet? Doggie
22. Your computer? Essential
23. Your mood? Anxious
24. Missing someone? Parents
25. Your car? Silver
26. Something you are not wearing? Shoes
27. Favorite Store? Target
28. Like someone? Roxy
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Night

Tagged: butterfly on my shoulder, Megs, Amy, and Nicole

Now Introducing...

the absolute love of my life!

Ok, you can quit drooling. He's a sexy beast, I know. :) Actually, before you assume I've married an 82 year-old man, I'll explain! This is C.'s costume for a birthday party we're going to tonight. I'm sure he'd love the fact that I'm posting it here for all to see! It's my brother-in-law's 30th, and my sister is holding a surprise get-together with a Vegas casino-night theme. C. and I are going as the "tacky tourists." I'll post pictures of both of us later next week when we return from vacation! Let me just say that my outfit includes a romper with shoulder pads, leggings, wooden beads and white Velcro shoes. Aren't you jealous? It's been a monumental task to try to keep this all under-wraps from my super nosy BIL, but I have every confidence that it's going to be a fun time.

Another picture of the happy couple:

We took this one after dinner on our anniversary...which also included a bottle of wine. Hence, the goofy grin on my face.

Sunday morning, C. and I are off for a quick, celebratory anniversary getaway. In years past, I've been the one to choose the destination of our anniversary trips...once to Vegas, once to a beautiful bed and breakfast, but this year was C.'s turn to decide where we were headed. So we're off to see some Major League Baseball and hit-up an amusement/water park. Such a guy, I know! He's lucky his wife loves sports and rollercoasters and that I tolerate being in a swimsuit in public...just barely. We'll be back into town on Tuesday, and I'm headed back to work Wednesday, while C. gets to enjoy the rest of the week off. Not fair, huh?! I used-up all of my vacation time in May/June for medical reasons...booooo hissssss!

So PLEASE have a fantastic weekend. I'm sending up thoughts and prayers to all who are "in the wait," and I'll be anxiously anticipating updates when I return.

P.S. Today is CD 32 and still no sign that AF is going to visit. What the heck is going on with this body of mine?!

Running the Gauntlet

This is my very LEAST favorite part of the day: the commute home.

Granted, it only takes me a mere 20-25 minutes to get from work to driveway, but the 5 pm traffic is ridiculous! People are talking on phones and swerving between lanes and cutting-off semi trucks...be still my racing heart! Now, I must admit, that part of my annoyance stems from the fact that I like to speed. I have a NEED for speed. 10 miles over the speed limit is pretty standard for me. I've never gotten a speeding ticket. (Did I just mark my head with a big red "X"...?!)

So it's just about that time of the day...time for the full body armor, a few prayers for safety and some much-needed deep breathing and meditation. So what about you? What's your favorite or least favorite part of the day? Do you have a long commute to and from work? Are you a serial speeder like I am?

Anniversaries and Vomit

Happy Anniversary, baby! This is one of the many reasons I love my husband so much:

We just "get" each other's sense of humor. He placed this card in the back door, so that when I woke up and let Duke out in the morning, I'd find it. Three years of married life have FLOWN by. I love him more every moment I'm with him.

Just what the doctor ordered...

A weekend away. Not too far away. But just far enough away from all of the memories floating around the house and feelings mulling around in my head that remind me of what we’re dealing with right now.

With all of the doctor’s appointments and long hours at work, C. and I haven’t taken the time we usually do during the summer months to go and enjoy the lake. We’re fortunate enough to share a summer place with C.’s brother and his family. This weekend, we said to heck with the mounds laundry and to heck with the lawn mowing for now…we’re packing up the dog and retreating to the lake.

The weather was perfect. I laid in the sun, took long walks with C. and Duke, ate really yummy (read *naughty*) food, napped, spent all day Saturday out on the lake and gave myself permission to NOT think about upcoming tests and appointments and all of the unknowns that seem to wash over me every waking hour when I’m at home.

C. was relaxed, loving and attentive. Growing up, his family would retreat to this cabin every weekend and being there gives him permission to regress back to those carefree days of swimming, boating and family…days before he even thought of who he’d marry…days before jobs and babies and a mortgage.

And Duke…he’s another story. He’s EXHAUSTING at the lake. He would dive off the dock after his “fris” all day and night if we’d allow it. He woke us up every 2-3 hours Saturday night with his infamous “nose whistling” technique, as if to say: “Is it morning yet? Huh? Huh? Mom? Dad? Can we go play? Huh? Huh? Can we? Can we?” Finally, at 8 am, we relented, and the swimming, diving and fris-tossing began.

It was a wonderful weekend, and I’m eternally grateful to my mom for sneaking over while we were away and tackling the piles of laundry that we had put-off. I love you, moomoo!

Finally, a very warm, heartfelt thanks to everyone who took time to comment on my questions about Factor V Leiden. It was a blessing to hear stories of women who, with proper treatment and care, have gone on to have healthy pregnancies and babies…even with this diagnosis. Thank you!

A Memorial

July 25th is a sad day for me. Flooded with memories of what could have been. 6 years have already passed. A secret. Sorrow, shame and regret. I'll miss you forever.

“Held.”
Natalie Grant

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lillys of the valley and tomorrow.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Heartbroken

I just received an email from my RE regarding the blood tests ordered yesterday. I'm not really sure where to go from here.

"You have an abnormal Factor V Leiden gene. This means you are at increased risk of blood clots and miscarriage (as we suspected from your mom's history). You will need to be on heparin and baby aspirin with future pregnancies. I would like you to see Dr. K who is a specialist in Hematology and Oncology. He will probably do much more blood testing to determine if there are any other abnormalities. You should be aware that you have an increased risk of blood clots on the birth control pill and you should not take it."

As if a busted uterus isn't enough for me to handle right now...another hurdle gets thrown onto the track.