Week At A Glance

Highlights and Not-So-Highlights of our weekend and this insanely busy week:

Sunday:

Expensive wedding (husband's tux rental was nearly 200 dollars?!?) including tons of annoying, drunken guests...over! Car transmission puked on drive home. 90 dollar tow bill. 2000 dollar fix-it bill. Sorry baby. Guess you're going to have to sleep in a cardboard box once you arrive!

Monday:

Second round of photos taken. Speedy little HB was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Growth right-on-track. Back to RE on 11/11 for my third scan. Progesterone holding steady at 16.

Tuesday:
Cried hysterically because I've been so sick in the p.m.'s. Husband frantically tries to comfort me. Buys me Sour Pa.tch Kids. Cried even more.

Wednesday:

Craved a cheeseburger. (I rarely ever eat red meat.) Ate it in bed at 10 pm.

Thursday:

After tossing a bag of dog food into the cart at Tar.get and getting a huge whiff of the stinky stuff, had to abandon all items and sprint to the nearest bathroom to puke. Nice! Thankfully my purse was spared by mere moments.

Friday:

Looking forward to getting home, putting on PJ's, watching husband hand-out candy and snuggling into bed very early! I'm also placing bets on my sister having her baby today. She was 3 cm dilated and 60 percent effaced on Tuesday. She totally DID NOT want to have a Halloween baby...but she's also ready for him to be OUT!

Enjoy the weekend fellow bloggers! Happy Trick-or-Treating!

My Not-So-Gourmet Cravings

I had my very first, bona fide pregnancy-related craving last night. I've been getting really "morning" sick in the evenings. The nausea hits hardest at about 8 pm. So when I told hubby that I actually wanted to eat, it was my super-hero-husband-grocery-store-runner to the rescue! So what was the craving for?! A delicious cut of steak (barf!) or some fresh steamed veggies? Ummm...not so much. My body wanted Spaghetti O's. Plain-old, pre-cooked imposter pasta rings with sloppy tomato sauce. Husband joked that I'd better not overcook them because he knows how delicious Spag O's are when they're perfectly al dente. HarHar! Jol.ly Ran.chers are also one of my new BFF's. They've been my non-puke lifeline at work.

And finally, a great big WELCOME and heartfelt thanks to all of this weeks ICLW visitors! Your kind words have meant so much. I don't know why I didn't participate in this event much sooner. I feel like I've met a whole new family of bloggers!

Memories and Grief

I opened the closet. Yes, the very closet I talked about here. And in doing so, forced myself to revisit many, many sad memories. Tucked away neatly in a plastic bin, sat all of the books on pregnancy, my unworn maternity clothes, the binder I received from the OB's office at my first pre-natal visit in April, the cute little ultrasound frame, the lullaby CD's and a million suppressed emotions. I picked-up the book with the beautiful in-utero pictures of "what your baby looks like now" and I cried. Gut-wrenching sobs. And it was then I realized that nothing about this new pregnancy has lessened the sadness about my loss in May.

I didn't expect for this wave of emotions to completely level me like they did. I thought I had processed and compartmentalized our loss, and that this pregnancy would be fresh, new and uncomplicated. Boy...was I wrong.

Got Milk?

A kajillion (is that a number?!) thank-you’s to all who stopped-by from L&F to weigh-in on the fluctuating progesterone level. I just have to keep telling myself that if Dr. RE isn’t freaking out at this point, I’m not going to freak-out either. It’s all in God’s hands at this point. I can only keep following protocol and pray for the best possible outcome. It was reassuring to see that many of you have had levels that vary widely throughout early pregnancy. Thanks again!


Get this, I also read that milk (yes, milk) can increase serum (blood) levels of progesterone because of the hormone shots that cows are given to stimulate greater milk production! I’m NOT usually a milk drinker…you'll rarely see me without a water bottle…but I stopped and got myself a big jug of NF skim milk after work today. (As gross as it sounds to me at this point, I'll try anything.) I'm sure husband is going to LOVE this little tidbit of information considering he drinks enough milk on a weekly basis to warrant BUYING our own cow to milk.

We have an out-of-town wedding to attend this weekend. Hubby's cousin is getting married and C. is the best man. I managed to find a dress that will cover my sausage-like torso and hopefully not raise any suspicions with C.'s family. News travels like friggin' wildfire with that group of chatty women. We're sharing a room with MIL and FIL (whose genius idea was that?!) and I'm going to have to be stealthy about my hep.arin shots again. I'm just afraid my night-sickness is going to make me a major party-pooper at the reception. I'm also afraid that all the drunken relatives are going to drive my sober-self bonkers. Ahhhh...but sweet little baby, you're SO worth it!

Commence Freak-Out

Today's ultrasound showed our little nugget nestled on the right side of my heart-shaped uter-house, measuring at 6 weeks 1 day...right on target. Based upon the CRL (42 mm) my due date is June 11th. I couldn't actually see it on the US yet, but they were able to measure that our little one already has cardiac activity! It sounds like next Monday we will (probably) be able to see the little "flicker" of its heartbeat. Amazing.

And because nothing about my pregnancies can ever be simple, my progesterone levels have continued to decline. My serum (blood) progesterone is now measuring at 16.7. Down from 24.5 last Monday. Dr. RE noted that the progesterone supplement I'm on isn't reflected in the serum level because it's absorbed locally in the uterus/lining. Gaarrrrrhhhh. So my afternoon at "work" consisted of goog.ling every combination of rising HcG/falling progesterone I could think of. (Not a good idea by the way.) I read here that levels vary greatly in the first trimester, but somehow, that didn't do much to comfort me. My HcG was at 23,826...meaning it has a doubling time of about 66 hours which also appears to be right on-track. Again, if anyone has advice about fluctuating progesterone levels or experience with using Cri.none and measuring levels, I'd be happy to hear what you have to say!

Hep.arin shots are still going smoothly. I've only experienced one additional brush with near-fainting and it occurred this weekend. C. was doing my injection and we were mid-shot (seated) when I began to feel the head-rush/nausea sensation that accompanied my other pass-out episode. I asked C. to hold the needle in place while I completely reclined. He freaked out and took the needle out with about half of my shot left to go. Thanks babe. I really wanted to put yet another hole in my tummy! Oops! Needless to say, for the remainder of the weekend, my shots were administered lying down.

In other news, my sister is about to have her little guy any day now. I scolded her for wanting him to come early so she could skip doing parent-teacher conferences for 15 students this week. I gently reminded her that there are many, many women that beg to be pregnant just one more day...sigh.

On that note, go give Sara and M (two of my fellow Mullerian Anomaly sisters!) some love as they fight the brave fight for their precious babies!

22 dpo: 5w1d

The results from Monday's blood draw are in! Hcg level is now at 4289 but my progesterone has dipped to 25.4. Is it normal for progesterone levels to fluctuate this much? I suppose they can when you're supplementing? I just can't mentally handle a consult with Dr. Google right now. If you have thoughts or comments about a similar experience...please weigh-in!

First ultrasound (6 weeks) will be Monday 10/20 at 8am. Eeeeeek!

I had a mild case of "vasovagal syncope" last night while I was giving myself a hep.arin injection. Thank goodness hubby was home to catch me and pull the needle out. He said I dropped like a brick. Scary! The PA at hemo's office said it's fairly common and that I should lie down while doing the shots from now on. Sounds like I need to invest in a fainting couch. (Think they would let me write that off as a medical device?!)

It's Official. Hubby is 30 and I'm a Beeotch.

Husband has now officially exited his 20's...and I'm next in line. Eeeek! At least it will be a few more months before I have to cross into that decade of my life. Because C. shares a birthday with my dad, we celebrated Friday with extended family at my parent's house. My mom (in her usual style) went all-out with a sports themed challenge. It was hilarious. We were all asked to arrive in our favorite sporting attire. She found one of C.'s college football jerseys and my dusted-off my dad's high school baseball uniform for each to wear. The "All Sports Challenge" got underway after a cheer from my very pregnant sister and her adorable 2 year-old. (Envision: 38 weeks pregnant, sporting a modified cheerleader skirt and pigtails!) I think the cheer included a line about canes and prescription meds. We then competed in 8 different events including the dizzy bat spin, putt putt golf, toy car racing and thumb-wrestle mania, among others. My mom, donning referee gear and a whistle, even had ribbons for each participant. C. only rounded-up 11 points, so he received the "I Did My Best!" ribbon. The evening was capped-off with a football piñata and donut cake...C.'s favorite. He asks for one every time his birthday rolls around, and this is the first year anyone has been able to locate a bakery that still makes them. Go mom! It was a memorable (exhausting!) evening.

Because extended family at the party included C.'s parents, BIL, SIL, their two kids and two dogs, we had overnight company this weekend. I hadn't anticipated everyone staying with us, but I also wanted to let C. have family close for his big day. I always stress when we have company. It means more cooking, more cleaning, more noise and chaos and 12 muddy doggy paws running around the house instead of the normal 4. 3 1/2 year-old nephew is not potty trained yet and the last time we had them stay with us, one of the parents put a messy diaper outside the back door and their dogs ripped into it and spread it all over the back yard. Blech. This time, he would go hide in a corner and "do his job" while saying "don't look at me!" I'm sorry if this sounds incredibly judgmental, but this little guy is almost 4 years old!?! Nephew is always really rough with Duke, and it makes Duke nervous and incredibly on-edge (me too!). Poor Duke even got a punch to the nose without so much as a second look from nephew's parents. All of the responsibility for the kids gets dumped-off on my FIL and MIL. They sleep in their bedroom, feed/dress/entertain them while BIL and SIL sit on the couch and watch TV. This meant the kids went to bed at 12 am and awoke promptly at 6 am. This was the perfect recipe for a very crabby 3 and 6 year-old! Company also meant being very stealthy about my shots and trying to pretend like I'm not overly tired, crabby and pukey. Added stress is NOT what I need right now. Ok, I promise the tiny violins have now stopped playing.

I think part of the problem is that the progesterone supplements (Crin.one) are kicking my behind. I cry more. LOTS more. I often have the strong desire to punch people directly in the throat. I crave pizza and fresh bread. I'm gassy and bitchy. I'm sure I'm a real *treat* to be around! So that being said...I apologize in advance to anyone who crosses my path at this point in my pregnancy. I swear I don't usually give perfect strangers the look of death. Really, I don't.

I'm currently 5 weeks preggers. My third beta is scheduled for Monday morning...yipeee! I'll be sure to update with my stats once I have them in-hand.

A GIGANTIC thank you, once again, to everyone who took time to leave words of encouragement. Each sentiment is very special to me. I hope everyone has been able to enjoy their weekend...it's been rainy and blah here in my part of the world. Hopefully you enjoyed sunshine.

Moving In The Right Direction

Just a quick update.

Yesterday's beta results...210 at 15 dpo. Appears to be doubling every 28 hours. Progesterone jumped to 38.5. Have to stay on Crin.one for now. Dose of hep.arin upped to 12,000 units twice daily. Third beta scheduled for 10/13.

Bathroom Shenanigans

Duke said he's really excited about our news. Can you tell? This is his very best "I'm a happy-dog" face:


Last night, we celebrated some of our family's October birthdays at my sister's house. I knew we'd be there past the time I needed to do my evening shot of hepa.rin, so I made sure to bring all the supplies with me. As C. and I tried to maneuver in the teeny little bathroom, he said "I sure hope they don't think we're trying to do 'it' in here!" The fact that I was practicing deep breathing to relax probably didn't help matters any either. I'm guessing that everyone wondered why we needed to be in there together...even though we tried to be as stealthy as possible! Ideally, we want to keep all of the news under-wraps for a few more weeks. (Although my mom is already in on the secret.)

8 of the 550+ shots of hep that I'll need during pregnancy are now in the books. So what have I learned about my protocol? My right side is much less sensitive to injections than my left. I have learned that it is very important to adequately ice before giving myself a shot. (One bruise where I didn't heed this rule is nearly the size of a tennis ball.) I've learned that I love sleeping-in even MORE than I thought was humanly possible. My shots have to be given at 8 and 8, so that meant crawling out of bed at 7:45 on Saturday and Sunday morning to ice, prep and shoot-up. I guess it's just good practice for actually having to wake with a child before noon on the weekends! I've also learned that C. would be a pretty darn cute male nurse.

I had my first beta and progesterone check on Thursday at 11 dpo. My beta was 20 and my progesterone was 18.5. The nurse said they usually like to see the progesterone closer to 20, so now I'm on once a day Crin.one along with 11,000 units of hep twice daily. I guess the true test will be tomorrow when I go back in for my second beta. I'm trying not to get too attached to this pregnancy just yet. Ugh. I hate how cold and callous that sounds. Is it possible for this feeling to pass before you actually have a happy, healthy baby in your arms?

Finally, thank you for all of the well-wishes that you sent after my last post! It just reinforces how absolutely amazing my blogger buddies are! Wishing you all a wonderful start to the week.

It's Go Time!

Do you see what I see?

How about now?



Alright body. Listen up. It's game-on. There's no doubt that I'm fighting for this baby.