Well, Fer.tility Frie.nd says that I am officially “in the wait.” This is my very first qualified "wait" and I’m already going stir-crazy. I'm even dreaming about taking pregnancy tests. Last night in my dream, I accidentally spit on the tests instead of peeing on them. I started crying hysterically because I thought I ruined the only two tests I had on-hand! My hat is off to those who have cycled for months, if not YEARS. You all deserve a monumental prize, a gold metal and a truck load of chocolate. Does it ever get any easier?
FF is telling me to start testing at 19 DPO, which would be October 10th…which coincidentally happens to be my husband’s 30th birthday. But of course, you know I’ll be testing well before that. There's NO WAY I can wait that long, even if it means disappointment. Any idea why they would be telling me to hold-off testing until 19 DPO? As if this wasn't enough of an arsenal for TTC, I had to go and get another bottle of sperm-friendly lube this weekend and then decided to get some of these just in case!
Husband surprised me with these beautiful pink roses when he came home from work tonight. I love him so much. He never fails to make me smile.
In the midst of all of the waiting, I'm trying my best to rediscover my optimistic side. It's been tucked away (along with my heart) for far too long. How about you? How do you work to remain upbeat during your journey through IF? What keeps disappointment from overwhelming who you are and what you've become after loss/testing/treatment?
“It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis."
—Margaret Bonnano
6 comments:
Oh, the wait. I hope it goes fast, fast, fast. I always started testing at like 9 dpo. Self-torture perhaps... But I usually could get a light pos. by day 10 or 11. But everyone is different.
Your chart looks really solid though - which is great! I'm pulling for you.
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FF gives ridiculously far-off testing dates, to just discourage possible false negatives. Feel free to disregard! Your chart looks great this month.
Those flowers are so pretty!!
As for staying optimistic and upbeat, I notice that there is a cycle of optimism (the middle two weeks of the cycle) then pessimism (the end) and if I just remember that, I find it comforting that I know a feeling of renewal and hope is just around the corner. Sounds hokey, yet like many hokey things, it's true!
Okay, I TOTALLY agree with the comment above this from 'This One'. There is such an emotional roller coaster throughout the menstral cycle when ttc. You get AF, you're down in the dumps. It's a slow rise from there until about 3 days before you're supposed to get AF again and then the optimism drops. At least that's how it is for me. The only known cures for the cycle are pregnancy or chocolate... I've put on a few pounds.
BTW, those flowers are beautiful. Good luck with this cycle!
So close to my testing time. Let's hold hands and try not to be negative nellies together.
Hey! The roses are gorgeous!! My hubby is only thoughtful for special occasions. The every once in a while flowers would be amazing. Oh well.
Hmmm...keeping upbeat. Not gonna lie, it's hard for me. I try to stay positive during the 2WW, but then of course, when AF comes it's all down hill. I usually have my nice little bout of crying and then I slowly get better. I perked up the last cycle because I was staying busy with guard, which definitely helped.
Right now, Im just enjoying the time (what little there is) that I get to spend with my hubby.
***Hugs!!***
I think trying to keep your mind away form negative thoughts is the toughest, at least for me. When I begin thinking negatively, I try to turn those thoughts into optimistic ones.
I never POAS because of so many past disappointments, but I assume the late testing date is because of false negatives or false positives. Chart looks great though!
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