The bright spot...getting to see beautiful baby's strong heartbeat and little legs flailing around in his/her half-uterhouse. Baby's CRL was 3.2 cm. Beautiful.
I came prepared with a list of questions for new Dr. OB and was able to ask her about two of the issues before she was "done" with me. I asked about nuchal fold testing, and she did get me hooked-up for testing with a perinatologist in two weeks. I also addressed the issue of incompetent cervix because of my history of D and C's and because there's research that suggests that just having a Müllerian anomaly puts me at higher risk for cervix issues. She totally poo-pooed my concerns, basically said there's nothing you can do about it once it's happened and made it pretty clear that she doesn't believe in cerclages. After exhausting her time with my two inquiries, she told me she'd see me in FIVE WEEKS when I'm at 15 1/2 weeks and left the office without so much as a handshake.
Am I being hyper-sensitive and overly demanding to expect more than a quick once-over with this high risk pregnancy? I absolutely hate that I now have to consider seeking-out another OB, but I think that's the next step. Bottom line is that I just don't feel comfortable with this woman. Do I give her another chance, or is it best to cut ties before seeing her for another visit? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Any and all advice you have to offer would be MUCH appreciated.
All I'm asking for is the ability and support to do absolutely everything in our power to bring a healthy baby into this world. C. and I have fought too hard and cried too many tears NOT to seek out the very best for our precious little one. Is that really too much to expect?
25 comments:
Sweetie if you don't feel comfortable with the care you're getting I say run don't walk to someone who you feel comfortable with. Now is a good time to switch also before you get too far along. And yes, ask about cervix checks every 2 weeks due to your MA. Or at the very least every 3 weeks. I hope you find someone you love and I'm sorry that this one didn't do it for you. You have every right to feel completely at ease with the person caring for your precious cargo. ((hugs))
What Sara said.
I was in your shoes and decided to give my practice a second shot. It was a bad choice - as I eventually ended up leaving them in an emergency situation because they were failing to treat me.
Leave her. Find a conservative doc who is willing to take your risk for IC seriously. Transvaginals every two weeks from 16-28 weeks is just not too much to ask. I am proof that bedrest, without a cerclage, can keep IC from becoming a tragedy. But it must be monitored.
Trust your instincts.
Leave!! Leave!! I was scared just reading this. I am totally a dr. snob and will not go to someone I don't completely trust. I made the mistake of keeping a PCP I didn't like for 2 years. Seriously this lady would make me bleed every time I had a pap. Now, looking back, I ask myself "Why on earth?!" Find someone you like and trust. You aren't a "normal" patient. You need special monitoring. If she doesn't understand that, fine. I just wouldn't go with her. I would suggest calling back some of the docs who recommended her and asking them for a different choice or asking them further about if that is typical behavior, but it does sound like her patient-doctor conversations seriously need work. I've waited for my GYN for 45 minutes on the table, but she then took 45 minutes with me and gave me her full attention. It was totally worth the wait. My 2 cents.
**HUGS**
You have EVERY right to demand better care! If I had stuck it out with my first OB and/or my first RE, I guarantee I wouldn't be where I am today. We have every right to expect the best out of our doctors (we do PAY them to do what they do) and to hold them to a standard that makes us feel happy.
For what it's worth, I was with a large practice for 10+ years, waited 30 min - 1 hour for every appointment I ever had and no one would ever call me back or seemed to care about ME. After finally getting pregnant I went with a much smaller practice, 1 doctor, 1 nurse and I never wait longer than 10 minutes to see him and I ALWAYS get an answer to my calls and questions within an hour. He spends as much time as I want with me when I go in and he does whatever he can to make me feel comfortable and safe.
Wouldn't trade it for the world and you shouldn't either!
Good luck!
*hugs*
(ps-so many dr's don't value progesterone supplements like they should but I am with you on it!)
Sadly, the graduation from Re to OB isn't so glamorous. It does seem like OB's are overworked and understaffed and have crappy image machines.
If I wasn't feeling it, I would shop around too. You are in charge of your care.
Glad the little bean was doing well though :)
Hi. I'm here from Lost and Found. If I were you? I would run away from this practice, far away. Knowing that this is your first appointment with her she should of scheduled a good hour at least to sit down with you (not have you sit alone in the waiting room) and go over things: her policies, your concerns, etc.
Doesn't believe in cercs? Are you kidding? There are better doctors out there... go find yourself one.
But, happy news that all is well with little baby. Yay!
-Heather
Like the above poster, I came to you via LFCA. Like the above poster, I would run screaming from this practice. If they don't have the time or compassion to even answer your questions, they are probably not going to give you or your child the attention you deserve. Can your RE recommend someone? friends? relatives? Barista at Starbucks?
Best wishes!
Kathy
Unfortunately most Ob/Gyn offices are overbooked and understaffed, BUT, this sounds ridiculous. I would cut ties now and find someone who will address your concerns. Good luck!
Hi from L&F! I have to agree with the ladies above me. I had the hardest time finding a gyn that I could stomach before I was even married. I went through a bunch. I say trust your instincts, ask again for rec's saying it is just not a good doctor/patient fit.
Your pregnancy is not typical and it should be treated with care. Although I am not high risk, I feel like I get extra care because of my history.
Always go with your gut. You know what to do, girl. Now hop to it. We all want more pics too!
Um...in a word. No. You are not being hypersensitive. You've been through a lot to get here and she disappointed you on several levels: with her lack of timeliness, her bedside manner, her availability to answer your ?s, her not getting it that waiting 5 wks for another appt is crazymaking for you, and her general lack of sensitivity to what you've been through. I'd say, try out someone else and see how you feel. you don't have to formally "fire" her yet, just try out someone else and see if it feels like a better fit. you've got 5 wks worth of time to kill anyway, right?!
Hang in there. We will be posting on our our many disappointments with our OB and questions of whether to leave him or not soon.
Mo
www.lifeandloveinthepetridish.blogspot.com
I had almost the EXACT same experience with my recommended high risk OB last week. He had almost no interest in my history (didn't even ask when my previous 4 losses occured), didn't listen to a word I said (including telling me I o'd from my left not 30 seconds after I told him we used IVF) and told me to go off the progesterone, which in my opinion is ridiculous for someone with my history.
I thought about giving him another shot, but decided that it wasn't worth it. I might only get to do this once, and I need to enjoy it - that wasn't going to be possible with this doc. So I asked around and have an appointment with a different OB next week, who friends have raved about. She's not high risk, but she faced some big obstacles in friends' pregnancies and handled them expertly (and with empathy). I hope she's a good fit for me, but if not I'm going to keep looking.
I don't think any of us should have to settle when looking for the person who will finally bring our live babies into this world. Good luck to you.
(Here from LFCA.)
I'll pretty much go along with everything everyone else has said...leave her. This is your baby and your experience and you have every right to make it the best experience and healthiest for your baby. You deserve to be enjoying this and not feeling like you're left out in the cold. Leave her and find someone who makes you feel important.
Well, I don't have anything new to add, b/c I agree with everyone else. I'm in a similar situation (oddly similar, actually) - my OB seems exactly like yours, yet she was so highly recommended as a good high risk OB. My problem is I am a bit further along than you, so I really need to switch asap (though we are thinking about moving, which is why we haven't done anything about the OB situation yet)...I recommend you try to find someone else asap, keep your next appointment, but if you can get in an appt with someone else beforehand that you like, you can cancel this one. Good luck.
I saw your post on the Lost & Found and wanted to comment.
I saw 2 different high risk OB's and my pregnacies were not as high risk as your sounds. The first trimester they both only had me come in once a month. After that it was every 3 weeks. I sure don't thing you should only go in every 5 weeks.
I think you do have to do a fair amount of waiting in all OB's offices, but you should be able to ask all your questions once the OB comes in.
I agree with everyone else!! Run, do not walk, to another OB! If you are not comfortable with the things she is doing/not doing, then find someone else. You have every right!
An OB that poo poos serious questions, definitely not cool. Trust your instincts!! Hope you can find someone else who is willing to give you the time you need :)
(((Hugs)))
No! You are not being hypersensitive. This doctor is looking at all of this as a cookie cutter practice where everything usually goes the same and if something doesn't better luck next time. If she will not listen to and address your concerns now, she won't do so in the middle of a problem. I would definitely keep looking for a different OB. A pain now but definitely worth it in the long run. Good luck.
here from LFCA. please please PLEASE find another OB. i know it is a pain, but you need a doctor who will take the time to listen to you, address your concerns, and take necessary precautions, especially based on your history. i have the most wonderful OB who has been so incredibly attentive and wonderful and i am SO THANKFUL for him. i never hesitate to call him and he always makes me feel like he is happy to hear from me and that i did the right thing by calling.
you and your baby deserve the best...maybe you will love the peri who will do your screening and if they deliver maybe they will take you on. if not, i'm sure they can recommend someone else.
Here from LFCA...
Did we go to the same doctor? Absolutely find another doctor as soon as possible. I found my new OB at 14 weeks and he sent me to a perinatologist. I saw both of them for almost the whole pregnancy - seemed like I had an appointment every other week! Ask your hematologist for another recommendation or ask your RE. Or like the other commenter said, the barista at Starbucks but get someone else soon!
Here from L&F. I agree with all. The last thing you need while pregnant is additional stress or discomfort and not having having confidence in your doc will increase both of those. Simply not being comfortable with your doc is reason enough to switch but this one gave you plenty more reason to run. If you have access to another good OB I say give them a try.
Hi, newbie blogger here. Just joined IComLeaveWe list and started perusing blogs I'd like to comment on next week. Yours jumped out to me immediately b/c you have/had a uterine anamoly. I was recently diagnosed with a submucosal fibroid (after having 2 consecutive MCs). I see that you are now PG, congratulations!!! Did you have to have surgery for your BU?
I think you need to run too! Doesn't believe in cerclages?! I know I'll have a concern about an incompetent cervix with this pregnancy and if my OB says that to me about my concerns, I'll freak. They damn well better do something to save my baby if I have a problem. And my OB should know by now that my concerns usually mean something!!! No one knows your body better than you and if a doctor is not willing to trust that, leave them!
Not to repeat everyone else, but I say trust you gut. It doesn't sound like she's the right doc for you (or, well, anyone else with anything but a textbook pregnancy). I would keep the appointment but ask around for a recommendation for someone else in the interim. Good luck!
HI there! Visiting from ICLW. Congrats on your pregnancy!! As others have said, I would totally look elsewhere. The relationship between you and your OB is going to be a long one with lots of questions and you want to be comfortable with the person who is going to help you usher new life into this world. I'm sure you can find someone better than her. (It doesn't seem like it would be hard!) Best wishes for a H&H pregnancy!
Wow definately find someone else that is willing to first of all listen and take the time with you that you need and DESERVE.After all she works for you and you want better treatment than that.Glad your doing well though.-Megan
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