A Perfect Fit

I have to pinch myself when I realized that we’ve arrived safely at 12 weeks and 4 days…just a few short days away from jumping headlong into trimester number two! There’s been a vast array of emotions running through my mind the past few weeks. I’ve distanced myself a bit from the blogosphere because of all the memories the pages hold. We’re rapidly approaching the unfulfilled due date of our little one. December 15th. It’s very difficult to deal with both absolute joy and utter devastation all at the same time. How do you mourn what could have been, but not lose sight of what is yet to be? It’s a balancing act I’ve yet to master.

And who said the magic week for nausea to go away is 12?! They lied! I’m still getting once-a-week B6 shots, but at my appointment on Tuesday, new (fabulous) Dr. OB said that it’s best to gradually decrease the frequency of shots because women often get “rebound” nausea if they go cold turkey with the injections. Super duper! I’m really looking forward to a reprieve from the sensation of having a never-ending hangover!

Tuesday of this week was our first meeting with new Dr. OB. (From here on out we'll call him Dr. Super.man). The clinic where he practices is much smaller than where I was initially seen, but the people there are wonderful. My appointment was at the very end of the day when tempers and patience can be in short supply, but I didn’t find any of that to be true at this office. After a short wait in the exam room…completely clothed this time…jovial Dr. Super.man entered the room, apologized for our wait (wow!) and started ticking through his protocol for treatment during pregnancy. Once he had finished, he looked at me and said, “So does this sound like we’re on the same page?” After I picked my jaw off the ground, I think I nodded yes. He’s on-board with taking the precautions that I’d like to take but at the same time he doesn’t want me to get stuck with my “labels” as the Factor V pregnant lady, or the freak with the uterine anomaly. I feel like I’m in very competent hands. We chatted more about my unanswered questions, got a quick look at the jumping bean and his/her beautiful heartbeat and left the office about an hour later flooded with a complete sense of relief. My mom, my faithful prayer warrior, cried when I told her how the appointment had gone. Totally a God thing.

After our doctor visit and some research of my own, I also decided to cancel my appointment for the nuchal translucency screening. The more research that I did, the more apprehensive I became. There appears to be lots of opportunity for false positives on this screen and that would necessitate additional diagnostic testing like an amniocentesis. Because of my blood clotting disorder, there’s even more risk of miscarriage associated with any invasive test…especially ones that involve the chance of unknowingly hitting a tiny capillary with a needle (amnio). And ultimately, we wouldn't ever terminate a pregnancy even if a Down's test was positive. I thought giving up this control would freak me out, but strangely, I’m at peace with the decision.

I’ll end my rambling here, but before I sign-off, I have to give shout-outs (and huge hugs!) to my fellow MA’ers (Mullerian Anomaly) Sara and Meredith on the birth of there precious little ones. Hearing their happy endings gives me so much hope!

Turkey and potatoes and stuffing...oh my!

Happy Turkey Day! I don't know if I could even enumerate all of the things that I'm thankful for in life. I feel so very blessed to be exactly where I am right now. Granted, life isn't perfect...the house is a mess, there's family drama I've been dealing with for the past few weeks, I'm trying to let go of the unrealistic amount of control I want to have over this pregnancy, Duke thinks rabbit droppings are puppy trail mix (Ewww!)...but despite all of those things, I have a million other positive aspects to rejoice about! I hope that you all had time to enjoy friends, family and celebrate the freedom that we enjoy in this country. C. and I had a very quiet Thanksgiving day...which was wonderful! C. did the cooking and, in my opinion, aced everything. I ate far too much. (But it's for the baby too, right?!) Green bean casserole has always been my favorite, especially when made with fresh green beans. Mmmmm! We will be celebrating with my family tomorrow night.

The doppler arrived yesterday...much to our delight! I've included a picture here, and I apologize in advance for its quality. Husband was holding the main part of the doppler and shooting a picture with his camera phone all while trying not to expose any more of me than necessary. Tried to keep it very PG! Finding the little one was a task, but when we realized that my heart rate was the 80 and baby’s was the 172, it was nothing short of AWESOME! None of the docs that I've seen to date have taken time to do the in-office doppler (other than the RE who let us listen with the vag cam) so it was that much more special. I think it's finally sinking-in for C. He smiled from ear-to-ear when I finally found the roomie's beautiful HB. Money well spent!

I think I've officially failed my second go-round of ICLW. I need to catch-up on two days of commenting, and I really like to reply to everyone who leaves a note for me. That may take awhile because there have been SO many thoughtful, kind comments left on my past few posts. The supportive, nurturing nature of this community never fails to amaze me! Thank you!

Again, I hope everyone enjoyed a relaxing, restful Thanksgiving day! It’s back to work for part of the day for me tomorrow before enjoying a quiet weekend at home. Now there’s something to be thankful for!

Thankful and Amazed

I couldn't help but cry when I checked my comments today. The ladies of the IF/TTC blogosphere (and all others who stopped!) are beyond amazing. I feel so blessed and comforted by your words of wisdom regarding my less-than-stellar OB appointment. It has reaffirmed my decision to seek-out care from a different doctor. The only downside to my decision is the fact that I'm locked-in with this hospital group (if I want my services to be covered by insurance) and there is a small chance the "Dr. No Time For Me" may ultimately deliver this baby if she's on-call. But I was reminded by many friends that I wouldn't have to deal with her for the next 7 months. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again to each and every one of you who took time to comment!

On Wednesday, I asked around at work about OB's that some of my closest and most trusted co-workers doctored with. My boss had her first child at 41 after a successful IUI, and she highly recommended her male OB that practices at a different satellite clinic still affiliated with this hospital group. I got on the phone, talked with his nurse, expressed that I had "high-risk issues" and set-up an appointment 4 weeks out. The nurse called back within an hour and said that the doctor would actually like to meet with me in 2 weeks (December 2nd) instead of the standard 4. It's a miracle! A doctor who has time for me?! I kept the appointment set for December 23rd with Dr. No Time For Me, just in case. I also hope to address some of my concerns (monitoring cervix and placental blood flow) with the MFM doctor that I see for my Nuchal Fold screen on December 4th. I like having options. Options are good.

The twice-weekly B6 shots seem to be helping keep my nausea at bay for the majority of the day. I usually start my morning with a cup of ginger tea, and that keeps me going while I rush to get ready for work. I still get a bit queasy in the evening, but the workday has been much more tolerable (and productive!). I'm really blessed to have fantastic co-workers who I've entrusted with the secret of my pregnancy and they've been uber supportive and understanding of my frequent trips for doctor visits, blood draws, etc.

We will be celebrating Thanksgiving with C.'s side of the family today, and I think we'll be letting everyone in on our little secret. (I KNOW it's been killing my MIL to keep quiet!) I'm 11 weeks today and starting to show a little tummy bulge that's not so easy to disguise without looking like a total frumpy mess. I have mixed emotions about letting others know. The pregnancy still feels very new and fragile to me, and sharing it with others makes me a bit uneasy.

I broke-down and rented a digital doppler. Control freak. I know. I just can't help it. I'm in love with this amazing little being growing inside me. Guilty as charged.

Finally, welcome to any ICLW'ers that may stop-in this weekend! Thanks for taking time to visit my little part of the world.

Not Impressed

So I had my very first meeting with new Dr. OB today. In short, I am not impressed. I'm really sad (annoyed?), because she came so highly recommended by not only friends, but also by my hematologist, who I really respect and trust. Are all OB practices insanely overbooked and understaffed?! I'm beginning to think that it's the norm. Strike one was sitting in my drafty gown on the exam table for 30+ minutes before she even entered the room. The nurse also told me before meeting Dr. OB that she'd be doing a cervix check, a breast exam and a mini physical. She did none of the above. She simply wheeled in the ultrasound cart, violated me with the transvag wand, and said "Wow! Someone sure has to go to the bathroom!" I wanted to say: Ummm...yeah lady. I didn't have to go 45 minutes ago when I arrived on time for my appointment, but now that I've had to wait this long to meet you, I DO have to go! I had to traipse across the hall to a bathroom, empty my bladder and repeat process all over again. Maybe I was just totally spoiled by the great ultrasound tech at my RE's office, but she was NOT gentle. She also asked why I was still on my progesterone supplements, to which I explained that the RE recommend that I stay on the Crin.one until 12 weeks. She told me to go ahead and stop whenever because most women just "hate" that stuff. Yup. I hate it. But I hate the thought of not having a LIVING child just a teeny bit more.

The bright spot...getting to see beautiful baby's strong heartbeat and little legs flailing around in his/her half-uterhouse. Baby's CRL was 3.2 cm. Beautiful.


I came prepared with a list of questions for new Dr. OB and was able to ask her about two of the issues before she was "done" with me. I asked about nuchal fold testing, and she did get me hooked-up for testing with a perinatologist in two weeks. I also addressed the issue of incompetent cervix because of my history of D and C's and because there's research that suggests that just having a Müllerian anomaly puts me at higher risk for cervix issues. She totally poo-pooed my concerns, basically said there's nothing you can do about it once it's happened and made it pretty clear that she doesn't believe in cerclages. After exhausting her time with my two inquiries, she told me she'd see me in FIVE WEEKS when I'm at 15 1/2 weeks and left the office without so much as a handshake.

Am I being hyper-sensitive and overly demanding to expect more than a quick once-over with this high risk pregnancy? I absolutely hate that I now have to consider seeking-out another OB, but I think that's the next step. Bottom line is that I just don't feel comfortable with this woman. Do I give her another chance, or is it best to cut ties before seeing her for another visit? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Any and all advice you have to offer would be MUCH appreciated.

All I'm asking for is the ability and support to do absolutely everything in our power to bring a healthy baby into this world. C. and I have fought too hard and cried too many tears NOT to seek out the very best for our precious little one. Is that really too much to expect?

Graduation Day

It's now official! I've graduated from the RE! I had my 9 week ultrasound this morning, and little baby decided to wave its teeny arms at us. C. laughed out loud when he saw the little nubs flailing around. I had to pinch myself. It was amazing. Baby is hanging out upside down right now, measuring at 9 weeks and 4 days with a regular, strong heartbeat. It all feels so surreal. My progesterone is on the rise (23.4) and my HcG was a strong 86,554. No wonder I feel so sick!

I also had my first intake appointment with a nurse at the OB's office, and when she heard how nauseous I've been all day (hence my silence in the blogosphere...I'm so sorry!) she suggested I get B6 shots 2x's weekly. I was all for any attempt to quell the storm that's been brewing in my tummy for the past four weeks! What I wasn't ready for was another near-fainting spell after the shot in my behind, but the nurse had me lay down and she held my legs way up in the air which had me feeling better in no time at all. (That's the most action I've gotten in a long time!) I think my blood pressure was just low this morning and after being stuck for the FOURTH time all before 11 am, my body had enough!

I still in awe that we've made it this far. I'm beyond thankful to be moving forward...slow and steady. I'm learning to enjoying every moment of this journey. I am SO blessed.

He's Here!

Welcome, precious baby Hunter!

My sister had her perfect, beautiful little guy just after 4 p.m. this afternoon. Being the major overachiever that she is...pushed for a grand total of 4 minutes. Momma and baby are both doing great.

Hunter Christian
9 lbs. 2 oz. and 21 3/4 inches

After meeting his big brother, Hayden, my sister wanted me to be the very first to hold him.
One word describes that moment...bittersweet.

Tuesday Tidbits

Hubby and I did our civic duty and cast ballots to "cancel out" one another's vote. We both lie on opposite ends of the political spectrum on most issues. However, I'm never one to vote and tell. I'll let you guess where my loyalties lie. I hate political rhetoric of any kind, but feel strongly about participating in our country's democratic process.

We're still waiting for my sister's "little" guy to arrive. She measuring at 41.5 weeks and I've warned her that babies on our side of the family tend to have huge heads...even bigger when they go past their due date! (Am I an awful sister, or what?!?) The baby still looks great. He passed the NST with flying colors today and she's set for induction on Sunday if he's not here before then. The midwife that she sees insists on stripping her membranes...youch! She's had it done twice now in the past week and a half. Seems a bit overzealous if you ask me. (Personally, would NOT let this lady anywhere near my lady parts. But you did not hear that from me.)

We had a bit of "excitement" with a relative this morning. My uncle's boat sunk while he was fishing alone last night, and it actually caused him to go into cardiac arrest. (His third heart attack.) He was in 50 degree water with just one small life jacket for over an hour. The first rescue team that showed-up didn't even have a boat to go out onto the water and get him. Huh?! He's in a local hospital and stable for the time being, but still very weak. C. and I will be with him tonight. If you think of it, please keep him and his family in your prayers.

*Update*

Uncle has been moved out of the cardiac ICU and hopes to be dicharged some time on Sunday. He still has his great sense of humor...he was very upset that he lost the 5 "monster" fish he had in the boat when it went down, and insisted that someone get him an absentee ballot to vote on Tuesday. He still has a long road to complete recovery, but feels lucky to be alive. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.