My P-O'ed Uterus

My newest pregnancy symptom...pissed-off uterus. (a.k.a. irritable uterus) The cramping started on Sunday and grows much more noticeable at night. I haven't had any spotting and the pain is mostly dull and achy, so I followed the recommended protocol of laying on my left side, not lifting/moving anything heavy, no exercise, lots of water and keeping my bladder empty. The last two were the most difficult. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE water. It's very rare that you won't see me with a bottle of water, but when I have to keep my bladder as empty as possible AND drink lots of water...that gets tricky! I might as well park my butt on the toilet with a giant jug of water and a straw.

The O.B. nurse asked me to come in to check my electrolyte levels and have a culture for a bladder infection. Electrolytes and hydration status looked great...culture was negative for infection. I'll have to wait until Monday at my 16 week appointment to address my concerns with Dr. Super.man. You'd better believe I'm going to be adamant about them checking my cervix length! Someone is gonna look at my cervix whether they want to or not!

I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. My holiday shopping is D-O-N-E! (Doesn't the tree look much better with gifts underneath?) Commence operation wrapping frenzy! I finished off my holiday shopping extravaganza with a trip to a teen-centric accessory store to find something fun for my 8 year-old niece. I found an adorable pair of leg warmers, some funky hair accessories and very girly lip gloss sampler for her. The conversation with the clerk at the checkout was classic. It went something like this:

Teenage Clerk (in a somewhat valley-girl voice): Oh! The leg warmers are 2 pairs for 20 dollars. Did you want to pick-out another pair?

Me (end of the work day, ready to get the heck out of the mall voice): No, thank you. Just the one pair for me tonight.

Clerk: Oh yeah! All cosmetics are buy one get one 50 percent off. Did you want to go ahead and get another cosmetic item?

Me: No thank you. I've got what I need for right now.

Clerk: And ma'am, all of the hair accessories are buy two get one free. Did you want to pay for one more and get one more free?

Me: No thank you.

Clerk: And since you spent over twenty dollars tonight, all gift boxes are fifty percent off. Did you want a few of those?

What Grinchy Mel wanted to say: Look. Just ring up my f'in order. I've got what I need. I don't need more of anything. The lady behind me is shooting lasers through the back of my head in an attempt to speed me through this line. My feet hurt. I'm exhausted and the smell of cherry lip gloss and loud Jonas Brother's music is not helping.

Me (wearing the biggest fake smile I can muster): No gift boxes tonight, thank you.

...And scene.

Nice Christmas spirit on my part, huh?

On that note, I would like to extend my warmest wishes for a very blessed Christmas to each and every one of you! Enjoy time with family, friends, loved ones and pets. Happy Holidays!