I'm starting to worry that I'm becoming anti-social. I may even have to dig-out my DSM IV and see if I fit the diagnostic criteria. Busted Babymaker's post today had a few thoughts that were SO spot-on with what I've been feeling lately:
"Every time I have to act too normal for too long, engage in banter and small talk, the sheer energy it takes to do so leaves me feeling empty afterwards..."
Last weekend, for Father's Day, I couldn't even bring myself to join my (pregnant) sister and her family at my parent's house for dessert. I felt like a terrible daughter. It's been three weeks since my last D & C. I should be "over" all this by now, right?! (HA!)
There has also been a pregnancy explosion at work. Dang all these fertile women and their adorable round bellies and cute maternity clothes. Is it ever possible to get past the jealousy?
Still no word on the placement/health/existence of my kidneys. My husband joked that I probably don't have any room for kidneys because my bladder is so big. Godzilla bladder is a nickname I've earned and lovingly learned to embrace...but that's a story for another day.
7 years ago
2 comments:
I saw you on Lost and Found and wanted to say hi and welcome to the blogosphere. I'm very sorry about your previous loss. I know it's not quite the same, but I have a unicornuate uterus and have been bit by the infertility bug in the past. My husband I are finally expecting our first this fall, but have been everywhere from clomid to IVF before something worked. I remember how nervous I felt when waiting for my IVP kidney scan to see if there were one or two in there. I joked and told my husband that if I had only one there was no way I was sharing it with him if he messed his up, LOL! When I found out I had two kidneys I told my family, does anybody want this other one, I have a spare all of the sudden :-)
Sorry this is so long, but I look forward to following your journey. And if you ever have any questions just ask away, I'm all ears!
What sort of scan did they do to check on your kidneys? MRI? Just wondering if it would scan across and see whether you really have BU or SU or BU/SU combo.
I am sorry for your loss.
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